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Here I am...

  • Jun. 4th, 2009 at 5:00 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
...Rock you like a hurricane...


















"Why?" you ask. Because some places just have too many bad memories and not enough good ones. Thanks for the laughs. Keep well everyone.

On "The Kite Runner"

  • Mar. 21st, 2009 at 2:03 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
I sometimes think that I fashion myself as a quiet rebel without cause, doing and saying things differently from others just to stand out, get attention, build a false sense of a unique self. It happens so unconsciously sometimes that I only realise it when I'm in the middle of doing something I didn't want to do but agreed because I just had to say differently.

So after 70 pages of The Kite Runner and I started thinking that it's bad, I thought it was just me having to be contrary again. Thank goodness at least 160 people on Amazon.com thought it didn't pass either (meaning they gave the book two stars or less out of five). True that Amazon.com might not be the best touchstone when it comes to literary criticism, but how about Slate magazine, owned by the Washington Post?

Right, true that even Slate magazine does not bolster my own opinion very much. Especially if you consider the flood of raving reviews out there. Honestly it was difficult to find a bad review that is made by any kind of established institution and not a random individual.

How did I come to read this book, considering I am about 6 years too late in joining in any conversation about the merits of the book? Well about a couple of months ago, my girlfriend and her friend started a two-person book club and this was one of the first books that decided to read together. They both raved about it after they were through and more than once my girlfriend said I should read it because it's really good (they read A Thousand Splendid Suns too but didn't like it as much).

Ok, so while she is away on holiday in England for about 10 days, I decided to pick it up and see it for myself (after having played computer games for 8 of the 10 days that is). It started off promising, although the last lines of the first chapter: "I thought about the life I have lived until the winter of 1975 came along and changed everything. And made me what I am today." did get me cringing a little. The slight melodrama seemed more apt for pulp fiction. Still it was just two lines.

Chapter Two came and went with the equally cringe-worthy "Looking back on it now, I thnk the foundation for what happened in the winter of 1975--and all that followed--was already laid in those first words." BUM-BUM-BUM!!!! Reader be forewarned: Something important happens in the winter of 1975. Please take note of this and remember that everything changed because of winter 1975. Not summer, and not in 1978 but WINTER. 1975. WINTER.

It sort of went downhill from there. And at page 74, I put the book down, Googled to make sure I was not the only insane person in the world who thought that the book sucked, and started writing this post. The characters are cliched as heck, the plot already contrite, and the subtlety was anything but. It may have been hailed for being the first fiction book in English by an Afghan to depict Afghanistan but it seems that as a book, as literature, it has more than a few short-comings.

Does this mean I think that my girlfriend and her friend are morons for thinking it's good? Hardly. I am envious rather. Everyone takes something away from a book and evidently for them, what they came away with made them exhilarated and in awe. The last time I had that feeling from reading a book was Rushdie's Midnight's Children and that was some years ago. Obviously when I read, I read for something entirely different from them. Perhaps it's a pity that I cannot be transported into a fictional world by a book and just live in it without pointing out how the constructedness of that fictional world is working against the book in general.

So it is with some sadness that I acknowledge I don't feel the way that my girlfriend and her friend did, reading The Kite Runner. But I move on, there are loads to read and god knows I have not read anything more than a restaurant menu for quite some time now. And so I am now midway through Jose Saramago's The Year of the Death of Ricardo Reis, which is so dense and thick it's like eating New York Cheesecake after a two-hour long buffet. Before each bite I must sit back and rest, or else I risk ruining any enjoyment to be had from the book. I sense its greatness, not because it's difficult, but because everything in it feels right. No pretence (despite the fact that there is a ghost in there that waxes lyrical about politics and love) to be sensed, yet nothing in it can be taken at face value. I plough on.

On Benjamin Button and Sherlock

  • Feb. 17th, 2009 at 4:43 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
Never have I been so puzzled by a movie. So many nominations... but where's the stuff to back it up?

Everyone around me was saying how great the movie was, and its multiple Oscar nominations had me thinking it'll be good too. But I watched it and as my friends talked about how good it was, I wondered what all the fuss was about. Not wanting to spoil the fun, I kept my opinions to myself.

What I felt was that the movie was a bloated collage of pretty images signifying nothing.Read more... )

Where that thing is finished

  • Nov. 14th, 2007 at 11:35 AM
The one that screwed up
I'm pretty sure one can only be happy about the end of something if one hates it enough to begin with. For that reason, I don't think I have hated my thesis enough. It is finished and I am glad about it. VERY glad.

But (and there's always a but in these things) I am deeply unsatisfied with it. It was a rushed job--no one's fault but my own--and it was poor. I refuse to look at it again now because I know I will spot so many flaws in it that I could have and should have changed, but didn't have the time to. These things happen when one overestimates one's ability.

Oh well, I'm not going to lament how bad I'll do or how stupid I am and all that. I will however take bets with anyone daring enough that I will not get anything better than a B for it. Minimum bet is $5. Anyway what's done is done.

What all this means is that I must not get a good grade. I need a bad grade for my thesis so I will be pissed off enough that I'll do my Masters with a blinding vengeance and a frenzied madness.

People talk about their "throw-away semester". I think the second half of my NUS life is made up of nothing but "throw-away semesters". Oh well, there's always NIE. *shudder*
The one with depressed me
1) Reached home just after 2pm.
2) Realised whole family will be going to my uncle's place soon. Since I have work to do, I'm not going.
3) Dad stuffed me with food.
4) Mom stuffed me with food.
5) Dad said, "See? Home still the best right? Got so much to eat."
6) I rolled my eyes.
7) Mom asked if I had missed home.
8) I realised I didn't.
9) I said I did.
10) They left.
11) I started doing work.
12) I cursed the year one students who couldn't string a proper English sentence together.
13) It hit me that I didn't come back to home at all.
14) Started planning my great escape.
15) Blogged about items (1) to (14)

Lots of other small stuff happened in between of course, but for in general, the last 7 hours have been more or less summarised adequately above.

Oftentimes, a person can never compare to the memory of another person. The memory always wins, the person always loses. How sad. How unfair.




Annie Lennox is my current love. So damn hot... Those eyes... Those awesome expressions! That great big smile... And that andro look is pretty sizzling too I thought. And that smirk at -1:05... Man... *wistful sigh*

The one with cryptic poetry

  • Nov. 4th, 2007 at 12:21 PM
The one with depressed me
No one but me will really understand what this is all about. But some things just need to be written out.  And when writing stops, then some things just need to be done. And I think my writing's coming to an end soon.

After THat, the chiming will be right.
The blight that is cosmic joke,
That thinks it is friendly folk,
Must do that which is right.

Must do that which is hard.
But that which should have start-ed
Long before the blight was alight
Upon others thus made affright.

All blight ever might was hope.
And all hope ever might was not
Anything but the end of a mope.
Always then the blight was fault.

Blight blight blight blight blight!
That was all the blight spoke.
Pretend pretense turns plague-like.
But now.
Now.
The blight.
To this he awoke.

Me with eye make-up

  • Oct. 29th, 2007 at 6:03 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
Here. I give you a couple pictures of me with black eyeliner and black mascara. This is the second time I have worn this. Shock shock horror horror shock shock horror eh? No, not really. I allowed it to be put on me. I think it's interesting to just see what people will do or say. It reveals a lot about certain things that you wouldn't otherwise know.

For instance, girls almost immediately see the make-up. Guys don't until someone pointed it out. That's just one of the things I have learnt.

PS. For those who noticed my lashes, they are real. I'm not wearing fake lashes, they are just that damn long.

PPS. For those who wonder - I'm straight and I'm happy to be a guy.

PPPS. For those who still wonder - I have french manicures on all my fingers too. And I'm upset that they don't look very good because my nails are fucked-up and they're starting to chip even though it's hardly been a week. And I also had my brows plucked, not too long ago.



Complain, whine.

  • Oct. 28th, 2007 at 12:49 AM
The one with depressed me
I don 't think I know what I'm doing anymore. Or why I'm doing what I'm doing. Ack. Argh. Sigh.

Thank God

  • Oct. 21st, 2007 at 5:49 PM
The one that rocks on
For music. If there weren't singers and songs and music in this world, I think I would have offed myself long ago. Yea, yea so emo ah me. Whatever.

Caution Caution Caution!! Three things.

  • Oct. 21st, 2007 at 2:37 PM
The one with depressed me
Lust, Caution is great. If anyone is still holding out on it because of the whole censorship hoo-ha, believe me, you do not want to miss it. Catch it before it's gone.
.
I just learnt I have about 15 days more before till I need to hand in my thesis. I quite literally panicked right there. I'm so dead on this one.

Finally, some days I just hate being human and having to deal with everything that is human.

Some lines of comfort and contemplation

  • Oct. 18th, 2007 at 10:16 AM
The one with depressed me
We do, doodley do, doodley do, doodley do,
What we must, muddily must, muddily must, muddily must;
Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, muddily do,
Until we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust.

- Bokonon
The one with depressed me

On Literary Intellectuals

  • Oct. 13th, 2007 at 1:42 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
"The sort of person I am calling a 'literary intellectual' thinks that a life that is not lived close to the present limits of the human imagination is not worth living. For the Socratic idea of self-examination and self-knowledge, the literary intellectual substitutes the idea of enlarging the self by becoming acquainted with still more ways of being human. For the religious idea that a certain book or tradition might connect you up with a supremely powerful or supremely lovable non-human person, the literary intellectual substitutes the Bloomian thought that the more books you read, the more ways of being human you have considered, the more human you become—the less tempted by dreams of an escape from time and chance, the more convinced that we humans have nothing to rely on save one another." - Richard Rorty

Waaah. I'm sub-human. Heh.

On being an intellectual

  • Oct. 13th, 2007 at 1:08 PM
The one with depressed me
"I shall define an intellectual as someone who yearns for Bloomian autonomy*, and is lucky enough to have the money and leisure to do something about it: to visit different churches or gurus, go to different theatres or museums, and, above all, to read a lot of different books. Most human beings, even those who have the requisite money and leisure, are not intellectuals. If they read books it is not because they seek redemption but either because they wish to be entertained or distracted, or because they want to become better able to carry out some antecedent purpose. They do not read books to find out what purposes to have. The intellectuals do."
- Richard Rorty, Professor Emeritus of Comparative Literature and Philosophy at Stanford University (d. June 8, 2007) in "The Decline of Redemptive Truth and the Rise of a Literary Culture"

* - "As Harold Bloom has recently reminded us, the point of reading a great many books is to become aware of a great number of alternative purposes, and the point of that is to become an autonomous self. Autonomy, in this un-Kantian and distinctively Bloomian sense, is pretty much the same thing as Heideggerian authenticity."


Yep, I'm no intellectual.
Must. Read. More.

The one that's too funny.

  • Oct. 12th, 2007 at 10:15 AM
The one where you're an idiot!
Damn I love this one. Go Dragon! Go God!

The one that aged

  • Oct. 11th, 2007 at 4:29 PM
The one where you're an idiot!

When you are old - Yeats

WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

The one with sigh... whine... why

  • Oct. 10th, 2007 at 8:59 AM
The one where you're an idiot!
It's World Mental Health Day today (10th Oct) if no one realised it. Yay. So whatever do people do during World Mental Health Day, seriously? Well anyway, here is a page with links to famous people with mental illness (or mental unwellness, which is probably a better sounding term): 

http://www.nus.edu.sg/uhwc/counselling/ecomm/WMHD/famous_ppl.html

So the moral of the story here is this: if you want to be famous, get either bipolar disorder or clincial depression. These two seem to be the most popular ones among these famous people. And if you want to be really famous, make sure your death is a result of your mental illness, but not before you write a whole lot about it or have someone write a whole lot about it for you. 

Ok fine, enough ragging. I think it's a commendable effort that they actually bother to be come up with some kind of campaign (?) like this. At the very least, now I can go around telling people about famous people and their mental problems.

The one with a quote and a laugh

  • Oct. 5th, 2007 at 4:24 PM
The one where you're an idiot!
"And laughter can simply be trivial, dealing as many comics do with clever gags and word tricks, witticisms of the moment that are quickly forgotten because they do not touch us at the core of our being. They provide only a convenient diversion, a momentary chuckle, a false sense of security." - Conrad Hyers, The Spirituality of Comedy

Really? That's all it does? Isn't most of our interactions with friends made up such banal "trivialities"? Don't they do more than just divert, distract, and give a false sense of security? Every joke creates its own community of people in the know and people not. Those who laugh are "in", those who don't get it are "out". It's a social filtering and categorizing tool that kind of tells you who you should be hanging out with because you share something with them and they understand you etc. Isn't all this a way in? Shouldn't you be able to laugh with that person before you go on to things that touch "the core of our being"?

How sad it must be if Hyers is right. That I'm basically spending everyday with people whom I have no deeper connection with than the desire to stave off the anxieties of school and life with a few laughs?

Ouch.

The one where I make puns

  • Oct. 1st, 2007 at 4:53 PM
The one with depressed me


Patke is a lecturer who taught a course called "Contemporary Irish Poetry". The "tiny boat" reference is kind of like a private joke. To explain will take too long and it would be boring, so just admire my punability.

The one.... whatever

  • Sep. 27th, 2007 at 9:05 AM
The one with depressed me

To a Friend Whose Work Has Come to Triumph
Anne Sexton

Consider Icarus, pasting those sticky wings on,
testing that strange little tug at his shoulder blade,
and think of that first flawless moment over the lawn
of the labyrinth. Think of the difference it made!
There below are the trees, as awkward as camels;
and here are the shocked starlings pumping past 
and think of innocent Icarus who is doing quite well.
Larger than a sail, over the fog and the blast 
of the plushy ocean, he goes. Admire his wings!
Feel the fire at his neck and see how casually
he glances up and is caught, wondrously tunneling
into that hot eye. Who cares that he fell back to the sea?
See him acclaiming the sun and come plunging down
while his sensible daddy goes straight into town.

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The one where you're an idiot!
[info]kar_wee
Kar Wee
Primer: Cynical, sarcastic, emotional, bitchy, whiny, needy at times, lazy, jejune, self-absorbed, impatient, callous, possess emotional maturity level of an 11 year old, prone to depression and doesn't open up easily when that happens. Loves or hates, not much else in between. Terribly sore loser. Tries to be fair to all parties.

Anything else you might like to know about me after all that above, you can just ask. I try not to bite. Maybe growl in a low voice.

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